dear little girl (an exhortation to my depression)

dear little girl

who subsisted inside of me

for what felt like centuries

waiting and watching behind

gray windows of suppression

and angry memories

dear little girl

who hungered for a curtain drawn

away to let sunlight play on

a rumpled bedspread and quilted sheets

dear little girl

who bled alone in parking lots

and playground parks

and on the wrong side of empty streets

dear little girl

whose voice was ignored

amidst others’ dreams and

imposed irrelevancies

dear little girl

who lingered forgotten among cold clouds

skipping silently in puddles of icy sleet

and hail while wind went free and unabating

through hair and bone and teeth

dear little girl

dear little girl who once was a part of me

dear little girl who once held the blood of me

dear little girl who once danced with me, sang with me

dear little girl who once smiled with me

is it too late to save you–?

is it too late to seek you in empty streets

and abandoned parking lots

and bare fields where winter wind shrieks?

i see you but you’re the echo of a memory

a smile, a happiness that fled from these

darknesses that i let creep into me

i should’ve held your hands

i should’ve kept you close to me

i should’ve fought everything

and set us free

will you come again and play with me–?

will you ever be anything but a cold, quiet memory

haunting sleep and haunting dream

the ghost of everything i used to be

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4 thoughts on “dear little girl (an exhortation to my depression)

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